Mid-20s man finds out that 24-year old girlfriend initially only went out with him as a dare, revelation taints memory of their meet-cute, leading to breakup: "I'd never normally date someone like him."

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    AITA For Wanting To Break Up With My GF Because I Was A Dare-Date?

    She had to fake- date me for a week to give "hope." me
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    Never thought I'd have to use this old account, but I'm really stuck and need some advice before I potentially nuke what has been so far, a good eight month relationship.
  • 03
    So for a quick background. My GF (24F) and I (27M) have been dating for around eight months now. I first met her at a funeral of all places. I wasn't close to the de d (They were a friend's uncle, I was just along to keep him company).
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    In any case I wasn't particularly sad-looking. I was talking with a family friend and smiling, which she noticed and made a pretty morbid joke asking if I put him in the casket.
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    It was so blunt I just sort-of snort/laughed and we got to chatting all afternoon, ending up with her number in my phone by the end of it.
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    She was funny, witty, pretty and a genuinely fun girl to be around. So of course I took a chance and asked her out, which she accepted rather eagerly. My ego was through the roof at that, little did I know...
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    Cheezburger Image 10479749888
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    I came home a little earlier from work last night (I was covering a shift and the bloke I was covering came in anyway, so they didn't need me for eight hours.)
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    Anyway I came home earlier than planned and overheard my GF laughing with someone on her phone. I was about to surprise her with a little jump- scare when she said and I quote "I never meant for this whole thing with BF to last so long. I'd never normally date someone like him."
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    She spotted me shortly after saying that, I admit, I made a noise I can't even begin to explain and she heard me. I'd never seen someone go that pale before. She was all wide teary-eyes and quivering lips.
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    GF then spent the next hour or so confessing that she never planned to date me, but once her friends found out she'd given me her number, they found a pic of me online and apparently found me so hilariously unattractive that GF just HAD to fake- date me for a week to give me 'hope'.
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    Cheezburger Image 10479749632
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    I wish I was joking. Her friends and apparently GF are all still stuck in their mean-girl high school phase.
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    GF agreed but I guess apparently 'forgot?' about it because we've been dating for eight months, not one week. She told me that she was stupid for agreeing with it and that I was a really good bloke, and that she really did love me but she never expected to actually feel that way about me.
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    Why? Because I'm not her 'usual type of guy'. When I asked her to elaborate, she mumbled that she didn't initially find me attractive at all, but after dating for a few weeks she stopped caring about my looks.
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    I admit I sort of lost my temper here and called her an immature waste of my time. I told her I wished she'd just dumped me a week into dating because to find all this sh out eight months in, when I cared about her, LOVED her was foul!
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    I'm staying with my mom at the moment because I need space to think and vent. Would I be T/A if I dumped GF for this?
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    EDIT: Wow, okay. Did not expect this much feedback, blimey! So I've turned my phone back on and it's a mess of texts, voicemails and missed calls. I've only listened to a couple but she's absolutely sobbing her heart out and pleading for me to come home so she can explain.
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    Nothing from her friends mind you, just her. Says it all really. No idea what to do, but now I feel like rubbish.
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    your-yogurt NTA. even if you didnt care about the "joke" part of it, she didnt go out with you because she wanted to, but was pushed by her friends. and then what? did she give a play by play after your first date to said friends? did she share your intimate moments with the friends? was your first kiss also a joke? was she hesitate to kiss you cause of the joke? did she even want to kiss you?
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    its thoughts like that would drive me nuts cause at what point did her joke turn into real affection? or was she cringing and flinching for those first few dates? how can you be with someone who thought you were "gross" for... how long? weeks? days? NTA
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    ThrowawayAcc985858 OP That's the same sh on my mind. I mean she didn't act strange or hesitant when we started dating. She was funny and cute and demanded we hold hands on our second date.
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    But was it all a funny story to tell her friends? Was she laughing at how 'pathetically happy' I was dating someone out of my league? I dunno. It's driving me insane thinking about it. I've already chucked up, I just feel sick and tired and used.
  • 24
    Lopsided-Sky396 Given everything you've said I can guarantee that woman isn't "out of your league", she's very much beneath you.
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    Like she's not even sorry, she just seems to still think you should be grateful she stopped caring how you look ( ??) and tries to justify her behaviour.
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    Even if you somehow forgave her you'd never be able to forget. Cut your losses, be careful in the future but don't let it stop you from finding a real relationship with someone who doesn't think hurting people is a joke.
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    Cheezburger Image 10479750144
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    Worried-Pomelo3351 Not only that she was trashing OP to her friends eight month later behind his back. She's a major ah le. She is not trustworthy and certainly not loyal.
  • 29
    Gangbang50 Is she still friends with all those mean girls.
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    ThrowawayAcc985858 OP Given that she was chatting to one of them yesterday, yeah I think so.
  • 31
    FiorinasFury Sounds like the conversation was about teasing her for still being with you. You're completely justified in feeling the way that you do.
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    IvyNash honestly you are never the a h_le for breaking up a relationship, because if the feelings for you aren't there anymore and you do not want to be with a person, there's no point in continuing.
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    that being said, dating someone as a joke / prank / dare is always an a h le move, your feelings are valid and NTA
  • 34
    peachez728 So she said not only did she initially not find you attractive, but she still doesn't find you attractive. She just doesn't care anymore, that she finds you unattractive. NTA find someone who cherishes you. She is not it.
  • 35
    Count_Backwards Yeah, this isn't the win the "Looks don't matter!" people think it is

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